New Yorker's Seth Kaufman Dreams of 'Glee' Episode Featuring Lou Reed, Complete with 'Wild Side' Food Fight

By Ian Holubiak | May 19, 2014 03:51 PM EDT

It's true. The kids at Glee have crooned some big hits with overwhelming ease, acting, too, as a platform for several burgeoning rockers (i.e. fun. and their entire fandom has FOX's other singing show to thank for their success).

So, why shouldn't Glee pay homage to the underground? I mean, Journey can get more tributes time and time again, but I don't think my ears can handle another lonely boy from south Detroit--or any other kind of midnight train.

It was interesting, then, to discover Seth Kaufman's take on a Lou Reed episode...and, umm, just how that might pan out for the show's demographic.

Kaufman writes:

So I lead a killer version of Lou's drag-queen classic, "Take a Walk on the Wild Side," mincing down the food line, turning myself into one of his characters, tonging a heap of spaghetti over my head, holding cantaloupes to my chest, and applying ketchup for lipstick. I even cue the food-service workers: "And all the colored girls go, 'Doo do doo do doo doo di doo do doo do doo do di doo.'" Then Mercedes and Santana, who are visiting because it's alumni day, join in. The whole cafeteria cheers when we finish.

Perhaps the spectacle of tossed pasta and crashing the cafeteria's camaraderie is sinful enough to be considered a righteous tribute to Lou. Who knows? Dead men don't tell any tales. 

Regardless, I'd tune in for this. Fefinitely. Kaufman goes on to consider covers of "I'm Set Free," "Pale Blue Eyes," "I Love You, Suzanne" and "Sweet Jane" in a a most Glee-rific sense.

If only Seth Kaufman's dream were the case. Sadly, once again, there's no Lou Reed episode of Glee because there's no more Lou Reed to call upon.

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