Lice have invaded the scalps of the singing, dancing kids who helped propel the Broadway musical Matilda to five Tony Awards in 2013, according to a report in The New York Daily News.
While these children may be miniature triple threats, they're not superkids. The paper reported this week that "at least six of the children" have lice, and that "[t]he production is in chaos because they're trying to keep it a secret from other actors and even some of the other children."
Our scalps begin to tingle with doubt (although I suppose it could be lice) when we hear a phrase like "the production is in chaos." Somehow I can't picture panicky hush-hush emergency conference calls and 16 children running around backstage barreling into their guardians and tearing their hair out. Itchy lice could certainly be an annoying distraction when you've got to go on stage and entertain tourists who've paid enormous prices to see you tear it up.
An angry itch? Sure. But chaos? We hope and suspect not.
Really, any number of infestations would be worse than lice, which can be treated with special combs and shampoos (but not hair spray, even on Broadway). Termites eating the stage would be worse. Bedbugs infesting the seats would be worse. A swarm of bees terrorizing the sidewalk outside might be worse, too, and likely enough now that beehives are permitted on New York City rooftops.
Still, Broadway doesn't need any more pestilence. It's already threatened by too many jukebox musicals (and maybe too many princess musicals, too). Theaters shouldn't have bugs, unless they're safely secured to the outer walls or played by human actors.
So, here's hoping those kinky lice get the boot, and fast.
